My friends,
The world loves a good fairy tale. We grow up with stories of soulmates, of two halves of a single heart destined to find each other. The ultimate expression of this romantic ideal is the phrase, “a match made in heaven.” It’s a beautiful thought, isn’t it? The idea that somewhere out there, a perfect person exists, created by God just for you, waiting for you to find them.
But is this idea truly biblical? Does the Bible teach us that our spouse is a predetermined “match made in heaven”? Or does it offer a different, and perhaps more powerful, perspective? Let’s peel back the layers of this cultural notion and see what God’s Word truly has to say about finding and building a godly marriage.
I. The Myth of the Perfect “One”
The first thing we need to acknowledge is that the phrase “a match made in heaven” does not appear anywhere in the Bible. It’s a cultural saying that has been adopted into Christian circles, often leading to a sense of anxiety and an unrealistic standard for both singles and married couples.
The idea of a single, perfect soulmate is a myth for a very simple, yet profound, reason: there are no perfect people. The Bible is very clear that we are all fallen and imperfect.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23, KJV)
Expecting a spouse to be a “perfect match” or to complete you is to place a burden on them that only God can bear. This expectation can be a breeding ground for disappointment and can lead to the breakdown of a marriage when the inevitable struggles and imperfections of a sinful human nature appear. A perfect person, a perfect life, or a perfect match simply does not exist on this side of heaven. In fact, what the Bible says about our final destination, and how our life here prepares us for it, may be different from what you expect. If you want to know more about this, check out this article on why our final home is greater than heaven.
Instead of a perfect person, God wants us to find a godly person. He gives us principles and wisdom to guide our choice, but He also gives us the responsibility of that choice.
II. The Divine Gift of a Prudent Wife
While the Bible doesn’t promise a “match made in heaven,” it does speak of a gift from the Lord. One of the most telling verses is found in Proverbs:
“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:14, KJV)
This verse is a powerful counter-narrative to the “perfect match” myth. It tells us that earthly wealth and possessions can be passed down from a father to his son, but a truly valuable spouse—a “prudent” or wise and discerning wife—is a gift from God Himself. This isn’t about finding a perfect person, but about recognizing a wise, godly partner as a divine blessing.
This verse emphasizes character, not compatibility. It speaks of spiritual value over material possessions. The prudent wife is a woman of wisdom, a blessing to her family, and a reflection of God’s grace. It’s a reminder that true marital success is less about finding a perfect person and more about choosing a godly person and working with them, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to build a life that honors God.
III. A Covenant Made on Earth, Not Just a Match from Heaven
The biblical view of marriage is less about a pre-ordained destiny and more about a chosen covenant. A covenant is a solemn, binding agreement. When you enter into a marriage covenant, you are not just promising yourself to your spouse; you are making a promise to God.
This covenantal view is what makes marriage so strong and resilient, even in the face of spiritual battles and daily challenges. As we know, every spiritual battle is an opportunity for growth, and this is especially true in the crucible of marriage. If you want to learn more about how to navigate these struggles, I encourage you to read this article: Every Spiritual Battle Is an Opportunity for Growth: Here’s Why.
Choosing to love a fallen human being is a powerful act that mirrors God’s love for us. God’s love is not based on our perfection; it is a choice. He chose us, even in our sin, and sent Jesus to redeem us. This amazing grace is what we are called to bring into our marriages. Just as Jesus’s forgiveness is unlimited, so our capacity for love and grace should grow. The concept of love being a choice, not just a feeling, is a theme we’ve explored before, even when discussing the more challenging aspects of Christ’s character, such as when Jesus got angry and overturned tables.
The Bible also gives us clear guidance on who to marry. The most important quality is that your spouse is a believer. “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV) is a foundational principle. This common ground of faith is far more important than shared hobbies or interests, because it means you are both committed to the same purpose: glorifying God. And for those who have ever wondered about the mysteries of the heavenly host, like who is the angel of death, you can see that even in the spiritual realm, there are roles and purposes. A godly spouse is a partner in that grand purpose.
Conclusion
The idea of a “match made in heaven” is a romantic one, but it is not a biblical one. The biblical truth is far more glorious: God doesn’t give us a perfect person; He gives us the perfect opportunity to glorify Him by loving an imperfect person. A godly marriage is not a lucky break but a blessed covenant, built on intentional choice, unwavering faithfulness, and a shared commitment to Christ.
So, instead of searching for “the one,” let us focus on being “the one” that a godly partner would want to marry. Let us pray for wisdom and discernment, and trust that God’s plan is not about finding a fairy tale, but about building a kingdom-focused reality.
What do you think? Has the “match made in heaven” myth affected your view of marriage? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below. 🙏
