Few topics in Christianity are as controversial, or as misunderstood, as the concept of “submission” in marriage. To many, both inside and outside the church, the word conjures images of outdated power structures, female inferiority, and even abuse. But if this is how we understand submission, we are missing the profound and beautiful truth that Scripture is trying to reveal.
The Bible’s teaching on submission is not about hierarchy or worth; it is about a radical, counter-cultural call to love, honor, and unity that mirrors Christ’s relationship with the Church. To truly understand it, we must go directly to the source.
The World’s View vs. The Bible’s View
The world sees submission as a power dynamic: one person gives orders, and the other person obeys. This is a distorted and unbiblical view that has caused immense pain. 💔
The Bible, however, introduces the topic of submission with a foundational, all-encompassing principle:
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”
— Ephesians 5:21 (KJV)
Before addressing the specific roles of husband and wife, the Apostle Paul commands a spirit of mutual submission for all believers. This means that at its core, submission is not just for wives—it’s for everyone. It is a humble, voluntary act of placing the needs and desires of another before your own. This is the very foundation of the power of Christian community.
Understanding Biblical Submission and Headship
To understand a wife’s submission, we must first understand a husband’s headship, as Scripture ties the two together.
1. Headship as Servant Leadership: The Bible calls the husband the “head of the wife,” but it immediately defines this role in a way that shatters the world’s power model. It calls the husband to a Christ-like servant leadership:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
— Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)
This is the most demanding command in all of Scripture for a husband. It is a call to a love so profound that he would sacrificially lay down his life for his wife. Headship is not about being a boss; it’s about serving, loving, and protecting his wife in a way that reflects the love, pain, and sacrifice through His eyes. 💖
2. Submission as a Voluntary Act: In this context, a wife’s submission is a voluntary act of faith and trust. The Greek word used is hupotassō, a military term meaning “to place under.” But in a spiritual context, it is not an act of forced obedience; it is an act of willingly aligning oneself with a loving, servant leader for a common purpose. It’s an act of deep respect for her husband’s love and his Christ-like responsibility to her. 🤝
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
— Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
This submission is to be “as unto the Lord,” meaning it is a spiritual discipline of the heart, offered to her husband out of reverence for Christ.
Why This Matters: The Beauty of the Biblical Model
When rightly understood, biblical submission and headship create a marriage built on mutual honor, respect, and sacrificial love. It is not a hierarchy of worth, but a beautiful, counter-cultural model of shared responsibility. The husband’s leadership is defined by self-sacrifice, and the wife’s submission is a free act of profound respect. The ultimate goal is not control, but unity—for a couple to be a true team, moving toward a shared purpose.
This model, when lived out, becomes a powerful testimony to the Gospel. It is a beautiful, living parable that says, “We are committed to each other, not out of our own strength, but out of the grace of God.” That grace is what empowers us to live this out, as we explore in our article on the mystery of grace unfolding God’s redemptive plan.
