My friends,
The world’s definition of love can be a bit confusing. It’s often portrayed as a feeling, a fleeting emotion based on butterflies and grand gestures. But the Bible presents a different, more powerful kind of love, especially when it comes to a husband’s love for his wife. It’s a love that’s less about romance and more about a radical, sacrificial act of the will.
The most famous verse on this topic is found in Ephesians:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25, KJV)
This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a command. And it sets an impossibly high standard. But what does this command truly mean? It’s not about being a perfect person. It’s about a daily commitment to a love that transforms not only the marriage but the husband himself. Let’s unpack the three core principles of this divine command.
1. A Sacrificial Love: Putting Her First
The first and most important truth is that a husband’s love is sacrificial. Just as Christ “gave himself up” for the Church, a husband is called to put his wife’s needs, well-being, and spiritual growth before his own. This goes against our natural selfish instincts. It means willingly giving up your own desires for her good.
A sacrificial love can look like:
- Putting down your phone to listen to her, even when you’re tired.
- Giving up your free time to help with a chore she needs done.
- Choosing a quiet night in with her over a night out with friends.
This kind of love isn’t always glamorous, but it is the foundation of a lasting marriage. It’s a powerful act that can bridge the unspoken tensions that wives often feel but never express. It’s an intentional choice to die to self, one small act at a time.
2. A Cleansing Love: Fostering Her Sanctification
Ephesians 5 goes on to say that Christ loved the Church to “make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” This reveals a profound truth about a husband’s role. A husband’s love should not only meet his wife’s physical needs but should also actively support her sanctification, or spiritual growth.
This is not a call to be her spiritual boss, but a call to be her spiritual partner. A husband can do this by:
- Praying for his wife daily.
- Reading the Bible with her.
- Leading his family in worship.
This kind of love creates an atmosphere where his wife feels safe, valued, and encouraged in her faith. It’s a partnership in which both are striving toward the same goal: to become more like Christ. This kind of unity is a beautiful picture of the Marriage Supper of the Lamb—the ultimate union of Christ and His Church.
3. A Cherishing Love: Nourishing and Protecting Her
The final principle is that a husband’s love is a cherishing love. The Bible says, “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” (Ephesians 5:28-29, KJV).
This is a beautiful and intimate parallel. Just as you care for your own body—nourishing it with food and protecting it from harm—a husband is to nourish and protect his wife. This means:
- Nourishing her emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This involves providing for her and encouraging her.
- Protecting her from harm, both external and internal. This includes protecting her from harsh words, from financial recklessness, and from spiritual attacks. This is part of the spiritual battle that every Christian faces.
This kind of love makes a wife feel safe, secure, and deeply valued. It creates an environment where she can truly flourish. When a husband lives out this kind of love, he’s not just following a command; he’s becoming a living example of Christ’s love.
Summary and Challenge
A husband’s love, according to the Bible, is not passive. It’s a radical, sacrificial, and active choice. It’s a love that puts his wife first, helps her grow in faith, and cherishes her as he would his own body. This is a tall order, but it’s not a burden. It’s a divine purpose.
Which of these three aspects of biblical love do you feel is most challenging for husbands today? How can we better equip men to live out this radical command? Share your thoughts in the comments below. 🙏
