The True Origin of Traditional Marriage Vows
The words spoken on a wedding day are among the most powerful and sacred a person can utter. Phrases like “for better, for worse,” “in sickness and in health,” and “until death do us part” carry an incredible weight of commitment. But have you ever stopped to wonder where these specific words come from? Are they a modern invention, or are they rooted in something deeper?
The truth is, these traditional vows are not directly from the Bible, but they are a beautiful synthesis of timeless biblical truth and centuries of Christian tradition. They represent a spiritual journey from a biblical principle of covenant to a legally and theologically binding tradition.
Vows in Scripture: The Foundation of Covenant
While the Bible doesn’t give a script for wedding vows, it lays the unshakable foundation for what they mean. The core biblical idea is that marriage is a covenant, a solemn and unbreakable promise made before God. It’s fundamentally different from a contract, which is a conditional, temporary agreement. This is a key reason why biblical marriage still matters—even in today’s world.
“For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”
— Malachi 2:16 (KJV)
This unbreakable covenant is the spiritual root from which our modern vows have grown. It is a promise of permanence and faithfulness that a simple contract cannot match.
From History to Tradition: The Medieval Church
The specific wording of our modern vows can be traced back to the medieval Roman Catholic Church. In the late Middle Ages, the Sarum Rite, a liturgical practice used in England, began to formalize the marriage ceremony.
The vows in the original Sarum Rite, which were later adapted for the first Book of Common Prayer in 1549, included these now-famous phrases. These weren’t just romantic words; they were a public declaration of the couple’s intent to uphold the promises of their sacred covenant. They were legally binding and theologically significant, and they became the standard for generations to come.
The Biblical Meaning of the Vows
Each part of the traditional vows is deeply rooted in biblical principles. The power of the vows comes from their connection to the Gospel.
- “For richer, for poorer”: This phrase directly counters the world’s focus on prosperity and comfort. It’s a commitment to be faithful through all of life’s seasons, both abundant and scarce. It’s an act of faith that says, “My love is not dependent on your financial status.”
- “In sickness and in health”: This is a beautiful reflection of the Church as the body of Christ, where we are called to care for one another in our weakness. This is the essence of agape love—a love that serves, suffers, and remains when the other person is at their most vulnerable. It is a powerful reflection of the love, pain, and sacrifice through His eyes.
- “To have and to hold”: This phrase speaks to the biblical principle of unity and possession, but in a divine sense. It is the promise to hold onto your spouse, to protect them, and to cherish them as a true partner and a part of yourself. It is a key aspect of building a unified team with your spouse.
- “Until death do us part”: This is the ultimate commitment that mirrors Christ’s eternal promise to the Church. It’s a vow that states, “Our covenant is permanent.” It is a pledge of lifelong faithfulness and is the cornerstone of a truly unbreakable marriage. This commitment is the key difference between a divine covenant and a legal contract, as we explore in Marriage or Domestic Partnership: Which Offers More?.
The vows we speak today are far more than just a ceremony. They are a powerful summary of our biblical call to love, honor, and serve one another in all of life’s seasons. They are a sacred vow, rooted in God’s faithfulness, and an eternal promise that holds a marriage together when everything else falls away.
